Sarah Bows Out

Sarah Delfont is one of the two founding figures of Lifeline Resources, (the original name of Cancer Lifeline South West), along with the late Margaret Merrington. Not only was she instrumental in getting the charity off the ground, but she has been on the facilitation team from the beginning and has played a major role in making the Time To Retune retreats what they are today.

Sarah has now decided to step down from the team but we couldn’t let her go without acknowledging her huge achievements.

And what better way than to ask her to walk us through the early years. So, here is Sarah, in her own words…

“A convergence of fortuitous events allowed Margaret Merrington and me to dream up Lifeline Resources just over 20 years ago now. We knew from our work with people with a cancer diagnosis and their families and close friends that the aftermath of treatment was proving to be a very challenging time. At the same time we were offered the chance of using the flat at Sharpham House for three or four days at a time.

At that time, there was very little focus on how people were affected after treatment as the unwelcome though necessary routine visits to the hospital stopped, so the reassurance of being monitored by clinicians faded and at the time, medical staff remained relatively unaware of the impact of the absence of hospital visits on their patients as they only saw them for follow-up visits. For the people diagnosed and their families and friends it was like being left mid-ocean without a life jacket.

For the ‘patients’ this was the moment that the reality of what they had gone through hit them. The fatigue continued, the reassurance of regular meetings with the medical team didn’t happen and the letdown of realising this wasn’t the end of the road dawned. For many, it felt essential to protect those around them from their innermost thoughts and fears and it became apparent that for many this led to a sense of being isolated from their nearest and dearest.

We pounced on the idea of this wonderful space and of gathering people with a diagnosis and their closest friend or family member together for a few days to focus on resources (hence the original name) and to have space where they could voice their hopes and concerns in a supportive environment.

What was extraordinary and took us by surprise, as well as those participating, was that in this atmosphere of trust and compassion for each other, they were able to share their reality with each other. Invisible walls that had built up between the closest of people due to the fear of speaking out loud what they feared most dissolved and honest conversations were had. The realisation that this was a natural occurrence and whilst their experience was unique, common themes emerged. We witnessed the unspeakable being voiced and the defences dropping. There were tears as well as laughter, determination and possibility to face the future, whatever that may look like because others understood.

The breaks were offered free of charge and this is still the case. Venues have changed though Lifeline continues to be offered amazing spaces to come together for these short retreats. The people who enable these breaks have changed over 20 years (the administrator, facilitators, trustees, cooks, fundraisers and the ongoing support of people who have participated in the breaks) though the enthusiasm, commitment and open-heartedness of all involved still continues and enables the work to continue.

Whilst in many ways a diagnosis of cancer, its treatment and the outlook for the future has changed for many, the benefit of time out of the pressure of everyday demands to focus on what is most needed appears to be as appreciated as it always was.

I am now stepping back, having made a brief comeback supporting the breaks when needed. Thank you, all of you – everyone who has come to a Lifeline break, those who have worked tirelessly and with such good heart to ensure Cancer Lifeline continues, those whose spaces we have been fortunate enough to inhabit, those who have run, baked, climbed, dressed up, risked life and limb, those who have recovered and those who are no longer with us – thank you, each and every one of you. I can safely say Margaret would be echoing my words if she were here.

Sarah Delfont
November 2024